I’m not the kind to get bitter about anything (uh…maybe I am) but if there are any things I would be bitter about, they would be one…or all, of these:
Subway signs that aren’t in English: Because it dawns on you that all that Jamb English reading has come to nought!
Football Matches: They are the #1 contestants for the attention of Nigerian men all over the world. I did the stats and wives agree.
The Walking Dead: Because the thought that zombies still scare me is absurd, preposterous and just down right annoying
Sweet Succulent Fruits: They make telling people that i prefer sour fruits really hard
HBD LLNP MHROTD: WTF! why can’t we just write like normal people?
Gay: Because I’m beginning to doubt my children will ever know that it meant happy. You have probably forgotten already, see?
Blue walls: Because something about them reminds me of all the insane old yoruba films I’ve ever watched
The Facebook Page So You Think You Can Cook: because they make me Jealous, plain and simple!
Nigerians Who Happily Flash Multiple Passports At The Airport: Because the last thing we should be doing is showing off the fact that most would rather live in any country beside ours. It might be true but can we hide it for shame’s sake, pleeze?
Little Toy-Like Dogs: Just Because! I draw the line at Poodles.
No MakeUp Selfies: Because foundation and lip gloss still qualify as make up.
STOP SIGNS: Because everyone lies that they are there and they aren’t. I would see them if they were, right?
Romance Writers: Finding out I’ve read every single free romance kindle book…what am I to do with the rest of my life?…..Stop slacking on your craft guys, chop chop!
Murtala Mohammed Intl Airport, Lagos: Because its the
hottest warmest welcome ever….
Goddess-Like People (for lack of a better word to describe perfect women)
The Smiley Emoticon Showing All Its Teeth: Because that’s the stuff all nightmares should be made of.