7 Tips To A Happy Marriage

7 tips to a happier marriage
These cats remind me of a couple I know….hmmmm

 

So a friend requested a Relationship Post! Why I would write that, only God knows.

And I told her so. Well, here I am, with my Rel post, cos human beings are fickle like that.

And because it’s my Anniversary today. Yay!

So this is me being a good Samaritan and sharing tips. On y va.

1. ‘Cohabiting’ (Oh how i dislike that word) will not make marriage any easier. Yup a couple of oldies will tell you the same thing but you will act like they are farting out of their mouths until you get married and discover that the dynamics always change. So if you are moving in with your partner because a good night gets better spooning your lover then go right ahead but if you are thinking that it will make your vows easier then…Good Luck Jonathan. (Cos adding Jonathan makes my sarcasm even clearer.)

 

2. Be Proactive: Men take note, your wife expects you to call even when her phone is off, she will grill you for not sending her love msgs while she’s at work and then skewer you for sending them because she told you to do so. She will request spontaneity in bed and when you surprise her, she will accuse you of learning from outside. Times like this will come.

Reaction: Deep breaths- Deeper breaths- Let her talk while you listen minus a bored look on your face. P.S: Not the best time to complain about anything e.g rice needs more salt, soup needs more Rodo

 

3. And to those who say ‘Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Your Anger’, I say pffftt.

It’s one or the other of these ; You are an alien who’s inhabiting someone else’s body pretending to be a spouse… or you have found a way to still the sun. (Gideon Style) How do you settle fight if the other person hasn’t cooled off yet?

It’s out of your hands really. But what’s in your hands is the ability to fume in the toilet with cold water running, to watch the Bovi and the Fish video on Youtube, or to just ponder over how to douse fires & make things better, while you try to remember why you tied the knot in the first place.

 

4. The 2 TV Secret: Married couples can fight over the silliest things, walahi.

Socks, farts, The best bathtub position to do stuff which will then lead to fighting over how small the bathtub is and then the fighting will proceed to how you could have picked that house on Phase 1 with the Jacuzzi tub. Kai

Then there’s the ultimate, TV fights! You won’t believe what having 2 Tvs and two remotes will help you avoid. Especially if one person is a  Nollywood fanatic and the other’s a Bloomberg TV fan or if there are two factions within one roof a.k.a Chelsea and Arsenal. Two TVs can keep you apart if you’re not careful though but they will come in handy when KUWTK and a match are on at the same time.

 

5. Realise that People Change (This is for the dudes): People change. All the time.

Your hawt babe’s banging body is a miracle no doubt. And it’s great to hear your friends tell you so. Nevertheless, it too will bow to gravity, and age and urmm other stuff (you’ll see) Remember to be kind about it. Women are sensitive about their bodies especially when babies start rolling in. At least they have a good excuse for belly fat, what’s your excuse?

A man who likes plain Efo riro might go ahead to like Efo riro with Cow eyeballs and intestines AND a Unicorn’s horn. Irisalright! If the money materializes then why not? It’s true what they say about the way to man’s heart, I swear.

 

6. Sex & Submission: It’s hilarious to hear women wave these two aside and say it doesn’t matter. It’s even sillier when it’s Sex they’re waving aside. If you can combine these two properly, in the right dosage then you’re a lethal weapon, that’s all I’m saying! Hopefully some dudes will give my readers more insight on the matter. And if you know the doses then please let me subscribe to your newsletter o! I need to know!

7. Above all, Remain Prayerful and be Responsible. Seriously! Marriage is not for the soft-at-heart. And it’s definitely not for those who still want to sow wild oats or be Wild and Free.

Maybe Grown and Sexy but definitely not Wild and Free. The rest is in God’s hands.

 

So if you’re married (Doesn’t matter for how long) and reading this post, feel free to add tips of your own. It could be a great help to someone halfway across the world.

Shout out to ZOE: Y’all know who you are!

Thanks for 36 months of Happy, Mr H.

 

 

Photo credit: picstopin.com

 

 

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “7 Tips To A Happy Marriage”

  1. Well my TIp is ‘only a fool in love remains in love’

    There are things that your partner will do, that you blatantly know they are lying about. All in the name of love, you have to be a fool to believe it and continue believing in this thing called love…or else if you to prove your a lawyer and that marriage is based on evidence and swearing to die if you lie…you’ll be in for the divorce papers…Like Ludacris says ‘Act a fool’

    The reason our parents or grandparents remained married for so long, is in the fact that they knew and still know all the dirty secrets of the spouse, but chose to turn a blind eye or remain prayerful that he/she will stop…which sometimes they do but at a very old age, when you are tired of always being tired (Anastasia)

    So the choice is be a fool in love or be wise and single…unfortunately you cant have a bit of both,…

    Like

    1. Was at this bridal shower last week and d grooms aunt was doling out advice. She was like ‘our wife, theres no sense in marriage o. When u come from d office enh, leave all your sense at the door!
      Lol. I guess it does take a bit of chilling from both sides.

      Like

      1. Well she hit the nail on the head…funny how you would give your friends advise about their marriage, and right in front of you they are determined to make things change…and then they go home…you call them to get feedback and you find out that truly they left their sense and all your advice at the doorstep…sad but the only way a successful marriage (note i didnt say happy/joyful) will work is if truly you turn a blind eye to all the kati-kati…Yes love is truly blind (Well intentionally blind) Great post btw 😉

        Like

  2. There is no one size fits all solution in a marriage , however ignorance isn’t an excuse when there are enough support structures around. The whole idea is to treat marriage with the same seriousness and study you give to your job. If you don’t clear the lawn early enough your lawn mower might not be able help you either when your garden becomes a forest.

    Like

    1. Exactly Bibi, prayer all the time. Compromise cos you can’t have your way all the time and lots of patience. Wish our mums could just bottle theirs up and give it to us. Would save us so many hard knocks

      Like

  3. Happy Wedding Anniversary Dear Boluwaji. I remember every bit of that special day. Well,I am adding just one tip and its to be “Selfless”. Plus selflessness,minus Selfishness will sum to many other things. Regards to my little Astraunat ,hugs n kisses to you. “Cherriliciousberrilicious Lace”.

    Like

    1. Thank you Tolu. You know we actually embarked on this beautiful journey Around the same period. Selflessness hmmmm. Whoever says marriage is a walk in the park is a liar. Definitely not for the faint of heart. I think selflessness is an art perfected out of the struggle that is love. Wow. Look at me. Regular Einstein!
      Lol

      Like

  4. Tip 6 though. Hilarious! Men want it anywhere, everywhere and everytime. Even if u’ve given it 99times out of 100 and u sing to him ‘No, No, No’ in Destiny’s Child’s voice that one time, he assumes u’ve never given him at all. Truth is I’m yet to meet a man that has ever denied his wife sex…u get my point? Well, the man believes he can give it to u all the time if u asked so why deny him at all.
    And for those women that go all out to please their spouse and then downplay their own sexual needs. Call it a societal norm just to appear decent and well behaved. Truth is no man has superior knowledge to know your deep seated sexual needs. U have to own it, talk about it and lead him. His ego may be bruised though but then we’ll have less sexually frustrated women roaming the streets. Don’t forget to ask him his as well.
    Sex and submission is a big game changer.
    Bzique – Congrats on ur anniversary. Cheers to many more…

    Like

    1. God bless u Dr. G.
      Women want to be assertive in the office but when they shud let the men know what they want they pretend or act like fucking princesses.making the not so princesslike ones like us look bad. Oya o ladies. U haf heard o. ‘Own it’

      P.s : men do say no to sex though and then wives retaliate to show their power and before u know… but if couples are kind and considerate then it will smoothen out

      Like

  5. Marriage is so different from when you were dating, some folks carry the illusion that the guy/babe they dated is still the same as the husband/wife they married, na lie. When you marry and see the difference, accept it and as said above act the fool.
    Prayer can never be over emphasised, its the difference between waking up happy or grumpy.
    Let’s learn to make ourselves happy no matter what your spouse is up to (except in cases of physical abuse),most times na we(ladies) dey kill ourselves with every form of torture( thoughts to worry to anxiety to depression).
    Abeg don’t try to change any one, you are just wasting your time and energy which can be directed at making yourself happy and improving on self.
    Never ever envy another marriage or compare yours with another, cause you don’t know what actually goes on behind closed doors. Make your marriage work for you, na you get the shoe and na u sabi were e dey pain wen u wear am.
    My $0.02 on the matter

    Like

    1. Tkiwi, your two cents are a $1000 gift card in my book! Its so true. Its really easy to envy another persons marriage. The way they touch in public, how they text endlessly, say I love you. Take vacations together, etc. Guess you just have to understand that people grow to understand each other over time. Or juat look on the good side and thank god for great makeup sex. Lol

      Like

  6. Everyone has their own origin, Your spouse originated from somewhere; make sure you read his brand manual VERY well! His malfunctioning symptoms, everything about him as a product and most especially, memorize the “how to troubleshoot” part well! You cannot be a boss everywhere as a woman, in marriage, take a cue.

    Like

    1. Exactly. Speaking of brand manual though. I think it’s really important for spouses to read appropriate marriage/relationship material to guide them along. I know it’s hard but it’s completely necessary. I would recommend The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord by T.D Jake’s for husbands or young men that want a deeper understanding of their ladies. Why didn’t u talk about sex sustain. You’re a Sex therapist bingo so I was expecting loads of insight on the subject. Share and insert a link to your site while you are at it please.

      Like

  7. @biodun, Sincerely speaking, if i delve into the issue of sex in marriage, we probably will all co author a book , lol.
    The truth is every other thing in marriage hangs on that one thing “sex”. How well spouses get it right determines who whistles and turn a blind eye to all wrong doings in the morning or who flinches at every slight thing that goes out of place.SO many buttons are attached to sex ,especially what i call the “mumu button”. Sex in marriage has gone beyond the missionary, no oral sex , act in the bedroom only affair, if undergraduates and secondary school students neck and pet about in public place, why shouldn’t a married babe get petty in public? its what i call setting the table! The greatest tip in marriage ,HAVE SEX! HAVE MORE SEX!!! HAVE SEX WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS!!! SERVICE YOUR SPOUSE …..don’t hoard your resources! Yours sincerely learnt strip dancing and pole dancing few months back cos i wanted to be ahead always! Married ladies please give to your man what no other woman will dare give to him. I blog at arinolaadebayo@wordpress.com

    Like

  8. Biodun , in marriage sex is a big deal! Our ability as married people to get it right in this regard will determine who whistles and turn the other way when there is a little snitch or who turns everything into a big fiasco. As a woman , when you give a man something to look forward to, he will treat you well cos he wants more. Lets keep them coming for more ladies. Yours sincerely had to learn strip dance and lap dance few months back cos i wanted to change the routine. My candid advice ,HAVE SEX! HAVE MORE SEX!! KEEP HAVING SEX!!! Give ’em what no other person would do. It takes a lot of hard work cos SEX is not just penetration, Its a Act!

    Like

  9. Marriage is an exciting adventure with different turns and
    it’s up to both parties to appreciate the tiniest things about each other cos in those moments are eternal memories that keeps them secured no matter what..

    Like

  10. Hit the nail on the head…. We see you too o #zoepeople.. I like your writing style… I just had to finish reading it.. Read the comment and join sef…

    Like

  11. My smallie self dey give conjugal advice…life don spoil, lol. Congrats dear, I love the tips and the thots that followed.

    Wonder how the rate of divorce and blissless marriages have increased especially amongst our mates? It’s because we have different expectations about what we are settling for. Two people becoming one no be yams, so both parties are better negotiate well before signing up.

    For the guys (as a retired bad guy), you have to lower your gaze. Once you are married, stay married. Bone all those side bettings out of respect to your wife. We deceive ourselves with the thoughts that been a married man makes you more valuable to single girls. Remember there is karma, what ever gives you the right to cheat, gives you the returns of fathering other people’s kids. Use your head.

    For the ladies, be contented with what you both have, stop comparing yourself to your friends or else your single days are coming back. If you are the tired one that can’t cook after work, can’t play “90 minutes soccer” with your man, you would be substituted by somebody else (outside or inside).

    Lastly you need to know who wears the pants in the home. The “independent woman” phenomenon ends the day you marry. The fact that you make a lot of money should not make you submit to your husband. No man forgives totally a woman that trampled on his ego. There is a reason why your rich girlfriends have no husband, competition is stiff out there.

    Please know that marriage is business and ensure you do your due diligence before you sign the dotted lines.

    Like

  12. Hi Biodun, great post! Not married yet but I’ll definitely file the tips away for future purposes. Anyway wanted to reply the comment from my blog. The best wedding site I know is aisleperfect.com, you can check out their pinterest and Instagram (@aisleperfect) as well.

    Like

    1. Daks! Wow see customer service o. Thank u. Yup file them away. Ull be needing them soon. Will check out aisleperfect. Guys feel free to check out Daks awesome blog voice at thirdworldprofashional.com

      Like

  13. marriage is not a child’s play; couples must adapt to need[s] of each other and be responsible. just as the saying goes “do to others as you would like them to do on to you” marriage mates must always seek for peace since doing otherwise would affect their relationship. “Maybe Grown and Sexy but definitely not Wild and Free. The rest is in God’s hands”
    good job.

    Like

  14. Where on earth have I been? This indeed is a masterpiece!! Thumbs up Berry! u got me reeling@ tip 5 d Cow eyeball and intestine with Unicorns horn was d highlight for me,(but hope that isn’t part of d recipe for Efo Riro for Mr H)never knew u now a relationship expert buddy am surely gonna serenade this blessed page now that I found out.
    Now to my own advise,marriage really is an institution where u get admitted but never graduate, not because u a fish/yamhead but jst simply bcos u keep learning and learning.You need to fall in love over and over again,find new ways to love ur spouse, spice up ur marriage keep d fire lit in ur marriage bcos u r d artist in ur marriage and only u can control d brush strokes. The way to a mans heart really like dy said is his stomach, did not use to pay much attention to d STOMACH part until I got admitted,Mehn na one of d major courses o, I became a sumptouslicious(jst assume its n d Dictionary) Chef by force, especially if u r blessed enough to marry an african Man#dunno about d other continents anyways#
    FOOD is very important I mean good FOOD.seems I have heard that u r what u eat,but to d dudes this is not an excuse for belly fat o,that is totally unsexy and like berry said, no excuse 4 belly fat for d guyz. And most importantly, PRAY PRAY and turn to PRAYER! It helps a lot we all have our beliefs,d success of every relationship lies in both parties hands but most importantly in d womans hand. B a multitasking queen, u r d financial controller n prayer warrior of d family.Submission and being prudent is also a virtue needed.And pls always remember u aint perfect,neither is ur better half so love each others perfect imperfections its not possible 2b flawless we aren’t gods,dnt dwell on d bad sides u v also got urs.
    Ooopppsss!!! Did I 4get to mention SEX? Food is d 2nd best to a man’s heart after sex o(becos d correct version of that saying is actually”d way to a man’s heart is through sweet sweet body blowing and brain blasting SEX”, didn’t flog d issue cos I am not a sex expert,let me leave that to d professionals. Chiao.

    Like

    1. Lmao at Pray Pray and turn to prayer.
      Bedeve, youre amazing and this comment…I shud frame it and hang it in my office. Priceless. Thank you for dropping by. Always glad to hang with my friends.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s